BATTLESHIP

How do you start the movie off with your star character being a loser and then fast forward to him being a loser in the Navy? Not only that, but he's an officer. 

(Oh WAIT...this is the SAME actor that starred in DISNEY's JOHN CARTER)

There's a few problems I have with this movie. Getting a battleship (USS MISSOURI) in "museum status"  ready to fight defies any kind of logic. First off, when does a battleship in "museum status" have the armament and fuel already on board and everything is in working battle order?

Another problem I had was when they dropped both chain and anchor and the battleship starts to swing around like a surferless surfboard (with leash)...I found this scene in the movie totally beyond belief. (Who writes this stuff?)

Then there's the driving a small SUV over a hill that crashes into the alien invaders camp. The SUV just took out a power source and only ONE alien investigates? (Again...Who WRITES THIS STUFF?)

The movie started off good in the beginning, unfortunately that plot had gone terribly astray. Don't waste your money on this movie...don't even waste it on the DVD. There's still the AVENGERS (which is a pretty Damn Good Movie to watch...I should have paid to see that movie instead- I've seen it 4 times already)

1 Star!!!

INGLORIOUS BASTERDS (Originally Reviewed and posted August 16, 2009)

Let me just start off by saying, I love this Movie. Inglorious Basterds is Quentin Tarantino’s fantastical, outrageous, frustrating but ultimately audacious rewriting of history. In one point of the Movie, Nazi Colonel Hans Landa, played by Christoph Waltz, asks, "What shall the history books read?" Well, no history book is going to read this version of World War II.

The Film is divided into 5 chapters and chapter one begins in Nazi-Occupied France. Landa, known as the Jew hunter, waltzes into a quiet farmhouse to flush out hidden Jews. After drinking two glasses of milk, Landa, quietly, chillingly, calls his men in and has them shoot a Jewish family hiding under the floorboards. Only the daughter, Shoshana, escapes.

Chapter 2 introduces us to the Basterds, a group of American-Jews who are brutal avengers. Led by Lieutenant Aldo Raine, played by Brad Pitt, the Basterds pulverize Nazis by killing as many as they can, in the most hideous way possible, and then scalping them.

This movie is really brutal and I found it troublesome is that the violence has no moral values. Even though the Indian censors have edited out two and a half minutes of the gory scalping scenes, there are several grisly moments. The good guys, in this case the basterds, are as viciously cruel as the bad guys. In fact, there's one scene in the movie in which one of the Basterds, clubs a Nazi soldier to death.

Inglorious Basterds is a very violent but yet a very brilliant movie. It reminds me of shades of the Dirty Dozen (just a higher octane version of it). It has no emotional core but Tarantino’s mastery of the medium won’t let you look away. You will either love the movie or you will hate it. But don’t miss it. You might get scalped if you do.

AVATAR (Originally Reviewed and Posted December 19, 2009)

Before I even start on this review, let me just tell you that I was waiting in anticipation to see this movie by James Cameron. I have a friend that's a film critic and he got a special film screening of this movie last week. Told me alot about the movie but in a way, didn't tell me alot (I wanted to see the movie for myself). Here' what I have to say about AVATAR...

The movie “Avatar” is absolutely stunning to the eye and a pretty terrific movie — a full-immersion technological wonder with wonders to spare. James Cameron’s Avatar, becomes intentionally grueling in its heavily telegraphed narrative turn toward genocidal anguish, grim echoes of Vietnam-style firefights and the inevitable payback time sequence near the end. The movie really does look incredibly fantastic, whether it’s dealing with flying prehistoric-yet-futuristic birds or fluorescent mushrooms (I've seen people actually trying to grab at them)...the imagery in this movie is spectacular. And the 10-foot tall alien race known as the Na'vi were incredibly stunning...all CGI....and they blended beautifully well with the humans in this live action movie.

Our hero is paraplegic ex-Marine Jake Sully (played by Australian actor Sam Worthington), who takes over his late brother’s job as part of the Avatar Program on Pandora. This means he psychically controls the movements of his Na’vi-like avatar while confined to a coffin-like container. The program, which was originally designed for botany research, is overseen by his no nonsense boss played by Sigourney Weaver (She's as tough as Ripley in the ALIEN Movies). By lying in the coffin-like chamber and “Matrix”-ing his way into an alter ego, Jake regains metaphoric control of his legs, and his life. He is a changed man once he tastes Na’vi life and falls in love with his teacher and trainer, the female warrior Neytiri.


Before he can realize it, Jake is too late. There is a corporate Boss/Drone Selfridge(played by Giovanni Ribisi) and mean old Colonel Quaritch (played by Stephen Lang). Jake finds out that the two of them have no interest in anything but profits and carnage. There is a lot of slaughter of the Na'vi in the latter half of this movie but I found it pretty hilarious when Colonel Quaritch laid on some of the Iraq war parallels (references to “shock and awe,” and fighting “terror with terror” come to mind)...but there's more... At one point, Quaritch’s gung-ho/bullet biting arrogant self says, “I want this mission high and tight. I want to be home for dinner.”

In short...if you do decided to see this epic of a movie, I would suggest that you see it in 3D (IMAX if you can), because the 3D effects will blow you away.

SHUTTER ISLAND (Review originally posted Febuary 16, 2010)

My review is going to be short and sweet. But first...let me tell you, it is a must see movie. The movie starts off really slow and tells you about two US Marshalls, Teddy Daniels and Chuck Aule, who are summoned to a remote and barren island off the coast of Massachusetts to investigate the mysterious disappearance of a murderess from the island's fortress-like hospital for the criminally insane. As the story goes and the plot thickens...we find that Teddy Daniels (Played by Leonardo DiCaprio) is having Hallucinogenics about his dead wife and about his war past.
Daniels is out to prove that there is something very wrong with the Island and that he's out to show the world that the island he and his partner are on is doing scientific experiments on all the patients on the island.
The Story is well written and the plot gets even more suspenseful as Daniels gets closer to solving the puzzle of the island...only to find out that it is Daniels that is insane and that the Doctors (Ben Kingsley) are out to help Daniels (DiCaprio).
The Flashbacks in this movie help out in the story and near the end, it's easy to figure out why Daniels went insane...His wife killed his own children leading to Daniels killing his own wife.
What more can you say about a movie Directed by Martin Scorsese...Two Thumbs Up!

KICK ASS (Review originally posted March 31, 2010)

Before I start off...if you want to see the movie and you don't want to know what happens, please stop reading this blog because it's basically telling you the whole movie. Let me first start off by saying, this was a really good and fun movie to watch. The movie has very strong language and it will generated some controversy for its profanity and bloody violence, particularly from the character Hit-Girl.

The movie tells the story of teenage Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson) who sets out to become a real life superhero. Dave is your average kid with growing hormones as he fantasizes of becoming a superhero and making it with his school teacher. After Dave gets his superhero costume through the mail, he sets out to fight crime. Dave then see's 2 thugs trying to steal a car and as he's fighting these would be criminals, he gets stabbed by a knife and then later, ran over by a car.

Dave is then laid up in a hospital and to save embarrassment for trying to stop a crime, he convinces the paramedics to say nothing of his costume and pretends he was brought in naked. In hospital for several weeks he is left with metal holding his bones together which he says makes him look like Wolverine. He has also suffered nerve damage which gives him an above average ability to take a beating. When Dave returns to school, his longtime crush, Katie Deauxma (Lyndsy Fonseca), seems more interested in him. His friends explain she thinks he is gay and wants to take care of him. Lizewski goes along with this in an effort to spend time with her.

The setback didn't stop Dave from being a superhero, and ends up intervening in a gang fight outside a diner. Dressed in costume and using 2 fighting sticks, he fights off the gang. As the fight ends, a man who has been recording the event on his phone, asks Dave who he is, and he replies: "I'm Kick-Ass". The video is posted on the YouTube via the internet and soon becomes an internet phenomenon, making Kick-Ass an overnight sensation.

Dave then sets up a MySpace account so that people can contact him for help. While spending time with Katie, she admits that she was being harassed by a drug dealer, and Lizewski convinces her to ask Kick-Ass for help. He investigates and ends up in an apartment full of violent lowlifes who try to kill him. He is rescued by a costumed, sword-wielding young girl named Hit-Girl (Chloe Grace Moretz), who kills all the attackers and then leaves to join her father, Damon Macready (Nicolas Cage), whose alias is Big Daddy. Hit-Girl (Mindy Macready) jumps across the rooftops and tells Kick-Ass to follow her, but he is afraid to jump, so they leave without him.

Later Kick-Ass is visited at home by Hit-Girl and Big Daddy who have tracked him from his MySpace account. Big Daddy tells Kick-Ass that he changed his IP address so that criminals couldn't find him that easily. Big Daddy also inform Kick-Ass that they can work together.

Meanwhile, local crime syndicate leader Frank D'Amico (Mark Strong) hears of the deaths of many of his men, with many people believing that the new star, Kick-Ass, is responsible. In searching for Kick-Ass, D'Amico kills an impersonator whom he believes is actually Kick-Ass. Running out of ideas, his son, Chris (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) suggests that he set up a new superhero persona ('Red Mist'), enticing Kick-Ass into meeting him. At first, Red Mist attempts to lead Kick-Ass to a warehouse to be killed by D'Amico's men. They arrive to find it on fire, and the men are dead; Red Mist retrieves secret surveillance footage hidden in a teddy bear, which shows that Big Daddy is responsible for the attack. Red Mist asks Kick-Ass to call Hit-Girl and Big Daddy for help, and they arrange to meet at a safe house. As soon as they arrive, Hit-Girl is sitting on a window ledge and Frank D'Amico shoots her, propelling her out of the window and on to the floor below. Kick-Ass and Big Daddy are captured by D'Amico's men and taken to a warehouse where the gangsters stage an internet broadcast, intending to unmask and execute the heroes. After they have been severely beaten and are about to be set on fire, the lights are shot out and Hit-Girl starts a gun battle, killing the villains, but a fire starts and Big Daddy is badly burnt, succumbing to his injuries after a tender moment with his daughter. Kick-Ass tries to convince Hit-Girl to quit, but she is determined not to allow the death of her parents to be in vain and makes one last assault on the headquarters of Frank D'Amico.

Hit-Girl enters D'Amico's headquarters and disposes of several guards by posing as a lost schoolgirl...one of the guards, she actually shoots him through the mouth. On the upper floor, she quickly disposes of the majority of the guards, but runs out of ammunition and is forced to take cover in the kitchen. Not willing to risk a direct confrontation with Hit-Girl, one of the henchmen grabs a bazooka stolen from Big Daddy's safe house earlier and prepares to fire (saying "Say hello to my little friend!"), but is killed by Kick-Ass, who appears riding a jetpack fitted with two Gatling guns (which was purchased by Big Daddy and Hit-Girl earlier in the film). After disposing of them, Kick-Ass and Hit-Girl move into D'Amico's office, and two separate fights ensue between Kick-Ass and Red Mist, and Hit-Girl and Frank D'Amico. While Kick-Ass and Red Mist fight until they knock each other out, Hit-Girl is overwhelmed by the older and stronger D'Amico. As D'Amico is about to shoot Hit-Girl, Kick-Ass appears with the bazooka and blasts D'Amico out the window, where he explodes in mid-air. Red Mist recovers and grabs his father's sword only to discover that Kick-Ass and Hit-Girl are already leaving. They tell each other their names and say goodbye.

Both Hit-Girl and Kick-Ass retire from crime fighting, with Mindy living a normal life and attending the same school as Dave. Upon her first day in school, Mindy is approached by 2 bullies wanting to get her lunch money....Big Mistake as Mindy cracks her knuckles.

Another wave of superheroes have been inspired by his exploits. Red Mist is shown donning a new mask and swearing vengeance, saying "Wait 'til they get a load of me".

The Sorcerer's Apprentice (Reviewed originally posted July 16, 2010)

Watching the previews, I thought for sure that I was gonna enjoy this movie...boy was I ever wrong.

First, let me start off by saying that Jay Baruchel killed this movie. Baruchel was trying too hard to be funny that the movie was already becoming irritating to watch. There were times I was looking forward to see the next scene without him. It got to the point where I was getting tired of the "look at me, I'm a nerd, ain't it cool" mentality that you see in a lot of movies. Personally, I think the movie would have been better if Zac Efron would have been the apprentice.

The story was pretty good but at the same time, very predictable. I'm not a big Nicolas Cage fan but I really enjoyed Nick Cage in this movie.
I also thought that the Special Effects were pretty good. This movie had a lot of potential...unfortunately it has it's short comings...namely the Apprentice.

The Blind Side (Originally Posted and Reviewed 2009)

I love this movie...I can watch it over and over again and never get tired of it. Believe it or not, my favorite line of the movie was the quote Michael Oher was talking about in courage...

Courage is a hard thing to figure. You can have courage based on a dumb idea or mistake, but you're not supposed to question adults, or your coach or your teacher, because they make the rules. Maybe they know best, but maybe they don't. It all depends on who you are, where you come from. Didn't at least one of the six hundred guys think about giving up, and joining with the other side? I mean, valley of death that's pretty salty stuff. That's why courage it's tricky. Should you always do what others tell you to do? Sometimes you might not even know why you're doing something. I mean any fool can have courage. But honor, that's the real reason for you either do something or you don't. It's who you are and maybe who you want to be. If you die trying for something important, then you have both honor and courage, and that's pretty good. I think that's what the writer was saying, that you should hope for courage and try for honor. And maybe even pray that the people telling you what to do have some, too.